نفساني - عرض مشاركة واحدة

23-07-2011, 01:52 AM

اقتباس:

I wish I had more to say than what I am about to say about your father, but I had a very bad day in relation to my father partially as today was the day they went to my therapist.. I went too.. (it was mainly the worse thing about the day but turned into partially due to a memory marking shocking situation afterwards which wins for being the main bad thing)..

Hopefully ONE DAY you will succeed in making things better with your father.. If it changes to the better little by little that's still ok despite the slowness, just don't close doors on almost everything giving up.. I have closed and locked doors on so much even between me and myself... Something is better than nothing so keep the effort going with your father, it's something that deserves time, energy, and effort put into it... I think sometimes in a all or nothing way about things, but you can't think this way with these types of things

well , i really hope so but let's be realistic , it seems impossible

NO... It actually isn't impossible.. We say that, and see it as impossible, because it's our easy way out due to how difficult it seems to deal with in our view.. It's harder if our fathers refuse to cooperate too, and come to their daughters session and say nothing but false facts far from the truth acting like he is the perfect father who wants to be helpful and understanding... People think you are the issue to make it worse, because they don't know how much acting and lying your father is doing.. Wouldn't that make you angry?!

About the clinic.. I am not in search for a good therapist... The therapist I have is very good, I have no complaints.. I could score him even better than very good... I'm the issue ME ME ME :( .. I feel so sorry for anyone who has to deal with me especially NOW... I can imagine I do make people frustrated.. I can't handle/stand myself for quite a long time lay.. It's just getting worse.. I can't/wont face anything anymore... I feel I'm barely standing heh if my state is even called standing,.. it's more like falling repeatively.. so I get worried I cant bare ANYMORE pain as a reasult of facing things.. I worry I will lose myself and I don't want that.. I scared to death about losing myself... I feel I feel enough pain already that I can't manage hardly so I don't want MORE!!!! Even if it's temporarily.. Also building things up more and more isn't a solution.. I wish there was a middle road... My Mom says you've become the specially of building walls.. She thought I wasn't that even when talking with my therapist which she didn't like as she saw herself today... It has nothing to do with him though or trust matters.. I wasn't like this before.. Stuck in my own web.. I'm really struggling.. Something happened today that will NEVER NEVER NEVER be erased from my memory.. Kinda don't know what meaning thought feeling reaction to give the situation pushing it to yet another closet in hope for it JUST not cross my mind :'(

. it's ok to seek help from other people . it's part of the nature of life

i used to feel like you , but know i say : i will repay their help

. by trying to help them whenever they need any help

? "but what do you really mean by "building walls

mmmm I think the meaning is clear.. I don't what you want me to say..

My Mom thinks I am putting

حواجز

up all the time

Explain Sultan, because I don't know what your asking about.. Is it why I am building walls or it wasn't clear exactly in English which I translated!!? Doubt you didn't understand it though in English..

What is it you are really asking???

Your in Riyadh right? I ask because I'm not in Saudi Arabia, but in another gulf country... I would have wondered what the number is for doctors physical wise not psychologically, but were not living in the same area.. I don't think so Sultan

:) yes i'm in riyadh , i thought you were living in another city . hahaha

people in the Gulf Countries are our brothers and sisters

it's like we are in one big country

Yes you can say that true

I feel on this page like I'm a selfish person because I just talk about me me me... I like to try to be supportive to whose supportive to me in whatever circumstances/settings allow me to be supportive as well or at least a listening ear even if it seems like nothing but you never know sometimes little things do a lot, BUT all I do is talk about myself here too much...

no , you are far from being selfish

i'm very glad to speak to you here

. i can barely call myself supportive to you because i'm not able to help you

I will comment by saying: People don't realize how little things can matter, and make a difference

I pay attention to the smallll things , and I am not a greedy person.. I am simple.., unless it has something to do with life ambitions than I am very greedy heh wont take the least.. Otherwise I'm quite a simple person..

The only thing I feel I'm very complicated in is how my brain works or wants to understand everything trying to break up everything.. Even perhaps breaking up the unbreakable.. I feel sometimes like I'm like children when they ask questions that have no answers.. That's me.. I get very frustrated if I can't understand something or find something or conclusion, ...., ..... etc VERY frustrated.. My mind is too complicated I feel... My mother and cousin even older gone friends say this about me.. It's bother them.. My nature is very detailed and analytic with demand to answers and understanding... I can't stand confusion and lack of understanding.. It's drives absoluy crazy

i will talk to you when i feel like talking

you are like a sister to me

Thank you.. Feel free

Feel FREE to talk too Sultan it doesn't bother me actually it will take my mind off myself I have a lot of free time.. A lot of free time in my world is bad for me.. I'm happier when I have things to do to fill my time up.. All this time after graduating is starting to feel like death or suffocation.. I stopped thinking about cancelling the job because I will go out of my mind if end up having even longer time with Nothing to do.. Day time job doesn't even feel like enough.. I want something similar a having more than a few classes in univ. where you go to class, but your work doesn't end because you have things to do home a lot for those classes.... You Know What I Mean!!? Boredom and too much time to just think more and more with hardly zero to nothing to do with your time isn't a good thing.. I don't think I can consider myself the type of person who can function that way

mmmmm

? why don't you join a gym

exercises and swimming are very affective in such situations

? what do you think about it

First, my father disagreeing.. He says why go outside we have an exercise machine here in the house which he will make fun who ever uses it unless it's him or my brother...

Second, I prefer outdoors anyway... I like to walk on the beach or like near it.. The weather is too too hot now though...

Third, I can't exercise whenever I want to these days, because a lot of the times these days I feel light headed or dizzy or very tired and exhausted physically...

Forth, I am realizing and others have like my cousin and mom that I have changed a lot physically even though I haven't been exercising..

They say I walk much faster like I'm in hurry.. Faster than what they can comfortable walk along with me... Yesterday, I went to the biggest mall we have here and walked from the begaining to the end in quick walking twice.. My cousin hasn't seen me for about a month, and is about 7 yrs younger.. She said please please slow down my chest is starting to hurt and I feel my muscles are pulling in the bottom of my feet.. She said whats happened to you you didn't walk like this before.. It felt normal to me and I felt ok.. I didn't feel dizzy, light headed , or really tired and exhausted so it was ok and natural to me.. My Mother said something similar a few days before... I lot of these days I feel so angry making me full of energy to where I walk or do things as if I'm in a rush sometimes, because I'm feel I'm full with rage... Do you know that feeling??! If I'm slow these days after all the weight I've lost 16+ kg it's because I'm not feeling good which also happens a lot.. Before I lost weight I could move the same why, but I would be very tired afterwards as an result, but now

Good days and bad days... So in conclusion I don't want a gym.. It's indoor boring.. Don't feel like I need a gym necessarily in order to move either